Paper Boats
by Summer Memory
Summary: A paperboat for a wish. Hundreds of paperboats for hundreds of wishes, but I don't need that. I only have one wish, despite how your heart is ailing day by day or how much I am hurting because of it, I want to be with you. shounen-ai. taisuke.
1. Chapter 1 : Wish Upon A Paperboat

Hello everyone! Finally I manage to comeback with a new fic, this time it is a Digimon fic. (I hope my One Piece Fans won't kill m for this. . *sweat dropped) I haven't been around for a very long time because, well you see. . I started college this year and it demands so much attention from me. The part one of this fic was started and finished about last June but I was too lazy to post it ahaha. . . (-_-)a

I forgot to mention it earlier, but this fic was beta-ed by TheDoublemintTwins11, thanks a lot sists! (hug)

well, anyway, enjoy and remember that reviews are greatly appreciated!

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Part 1

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Summer. When I had been younger, I'd loved summer so much it was my favorite season in a whole year. Usually I would have spent it by practicing football at my school (there was always a match in the end of summer) or camping with my friends. Or just goofing around like teenagers at my age usually did.

Well, it didn't mean that now I hated summer or something, but let me just say that this year I couldn't really spend the current summer just like I wanted. I'd just graduated from high school and that meant I wasn't in a football team anymore, and all I had to do is to study for the upcoming college test.

Fortunately my parents were not the kind of parents who forced their children to study so they could make them proud. They only told me to take my time and not to overwork myself. It wasn't that I didn't want to make them proud. I was just, as my best friend Yamato always kindly pointed out, lack of brain.

Not to mention the way to the medical faculty wasn't an easy road.

So, I thought I would spend my next whole summer studying and taking courses and preparations and…things such like that. Pretty boring, eh?

Right. So that was how the glaring sun found me in this deserted playground, swinging high on one of the old swings, my feet touching the ground when they went down. I wondered if I was too old already to play these, I'd be turning eighteen this winter, because the odd looks from the passersby told me so.

The park wasn't full, but it wasn't that empty either. Only several girls played with the sand and some boys played with a ball, others just played hide-and-seek, I thought. I remembered this place had used to be full of children when the holiday came. I often took my little sister here, too. But not going to school anymore made me forget if today was a day-off, or better, a holiday, at all.

The weather was pretty hot and the air was humid, very typical for summer after all, and my eyes caught a figure of boy sitting on the farthest side of the park, just right beyond a cherry blossom tree. I had to strain my eyes to see that the boy had a dark color for his hair, perhaps dark brown like me or red like Koshirou's, but I was almost sure it wasn't black. His expression was solemn, almost expressionless as his eyes followed the other boys playing football, his eyes never leaving the ball that bounced back and forth. It was painfully obvious he wanted to play too.

I watched him watching the ball for almost a good minute, when suddenly he turned his head towards me, locking my gaze with his. He had the eyes of the most beautiful golden brown I'd ever seen.

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"You're the person from yesterday."

He was sitting at the swing I had been sitting on yesterday and his feet were dangling several inches above the ground. It made me wonder how old he really was. Nine? Perhaps ten at most. He seemed rather short for boys at his age, though.

I cocked my head to the side, a habit that I could never leave, my unruly light brown bang falling to side. "You remember." I said, amused.

He looked up and I realized that I had been right, his hair was red, but several shades darker than Koushirou's. "You were watching me." he said again in a tone that was more of a statement than a question, his beautiful brown eyes narrowing ever slightly.

I just stared at him as I found myself unable to answer. I didn't even know why I had been watching him the previous day, after all. Still not giving an answer, I tried to shrug it off casually and walked behind him. "Push?" I offered.

He turned his head so he was staring forward again and nodded, his question long forgotten. I guessed he wasn't that interested to hear the answer anyway.

I noticed the park was almost empty today. Only I and this kid, and a few numbers of kids were here. "Why weren't you playing with the others yesterday? You seemed wanted to." I said after giving him several pushes to make him fly high, hoping he won't fly off and fall and die, and sit on the motionless swing beside him.

"Momma says I'm not supposed to talk with strangers." His reply was a bit muffled by the state he was in, swinging back and forth, his short hair was blown by the wind.

'And you are the one who talked to me first!' I tried to resist the urge to tell him that, he was just a kid. "Taichi, Taichi Yagami."

He dragged his feet to slowdown his swings. "What's that?" he mumbled. His fingers were gripping the chains so tightly they were almost white. Or was his skin naturally pale? I honestly didn't know.

"My name, " I grinned widely, "so we're not strangers."

A small, barely there, smile slowly made it way to his pale face. "Daisuke Motomiya."

I reached a hand to grab the chain of his swing to make it stop, my fingers brushing his briefly. "So, we're not strangers." I repeated, a grin still firmly plastered to my face.

"Yeah." He shrugged and I could see him grin back to me. It looked better on him.

It was only after I was home and got back to my books, I began to realize that his fingers were cold. And actually, they felt nice against mine.

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I hadn't come to the park for almost a week due to the preparation test I had had to do. The result would be out tonight. I wished I'd improved my grades, because, honestly, how much time left before the college test came? Three weeks? Or less?

As my thoughts wandered, I'd been on my way to the park, the very same park where I had met Daisuke, before I had even realized it. I honestly couldn't tell why I'd grown this habit of going there because if the reason was merely of boredom, then I could have ask Yamato to take me driving somewhere because he had his own car.

I wondered if it was because of Daisuke, though, because as soon as I stepped into the empty playground, I found myself searching a figure of a boy with burgundy hair and brown eyes. I almost could feel a clench in my chest when he was nowhere in sight when I shouldn't have had felt anything.

"I thought you weren't coming." A familiar, painfully familiar, voice greeted me from behind and I sharply turned my back to whoever that voice belonged to. I had no clue why I really felt like leaping in the air with joy at that time when I saw Daisuke standing there.

He wore a loose red t-shirt and army shorts, both hands shoved deep in his pockets.

"You didn't come yesterday, and the day before yesterday, and the day before the day before yesterday—" he frowned, and I felt a smile threaten to make its way to my face. He looked so adorable like that.

"A week." I offered after a several seconds of silence and he looked up, a flash of fret was almost visible there. Kids hate it when there's an adult beating them to an idea.

He started walking to the swings and sit on one of them. "Figured that out." He said but I could see that he said it only to cover his pride.

"Sorry, got some preparation test and such." I offered an excuse even without him asking and it actually brought a question I had never thought before, "Aren't you supposed to be at school?"

"Nope." He replied shortly and started swinging high, the old swing made a creaking noise due to its aging. The caretakers should pay more attentions to them, it was dangerous for the children. "I don't go to public school, I'm homeschooled."

"Why?" the question left my lips before my mind had the time to register it.

He didn't answer right away and when he did, there's a different trace of emotion in his voice, something new I had never found in him. "'Cause I'm sick."

He reminded me of Hikari, a sister of mine who was five years younger than me. When she was young, she used to get sick pretty often, too.

"Now you know why I wasn't playing with the others. I don't have many friends." He said again, now more quietly, but still in the same emotion I had yet named.

"Do you like football?" without waiting for his reply I said, "Come again here tomorrow. I'll teach you to play."

That night, my preparations results were out. I still failed at some subjects. But later that night, after buying some Chinese take-away for dinner, instead of studying and trying to fix my grades, I found myself thinking about Daisuke.

I couldn't wait for tomorrow.

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The next day, at the exact time I had told him yesterday, I walked into the park and immediately found him sitting under the cherry blossom tree just like when I first saw him.

"You know," he said as I threw my ball onto him, "That you said that you'd teach me to play, I kinda have known about the rules. Jun gets a crush for the captain of football team at her school and she always brags about him and his match at home. It's kinda annoying, though."

"But knowing the rules and playing it is a completely different thing. It's like you can memorize a book about how to perform a surgery and freaking out when you're supposed to do it. It'll be fun" I said, beginning to draw the game lines with a random branch I had found nearby. I noted mentally to ask whoever this 'Jun' was. Probably his sister.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw him fidgeting a little. "I don't know…" he said hesitantly.

"It's fine. You'll enjoy it, I promise." I tried to assure him. "Nah, it's set. Gimme your best shot, Dai."

It took some times before he finally noded and put the ball on the ground, ready to kick it. "Then please teach me, Senpai!"

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The first thing I had noticed about Daisuke was that he got tired pretty easily. I thought it was no wonder since, being a homeschooled student he was, he didn't seem to spend his time exercising outdoor pretty much, and his fairly pale skin proved it. The second thing, aside from his horribly low stamina, he got some talents on him and I bet he'd be a good player in the future, if ever.

It was only about twenty minutes but Daisuke already seemed running out of his breaths. I asked him if he wanted to stop, and he shook his head, no. Five or so minutes later, seeing that he'd been panting heavily already, I decided to take a break. We sit under the cherry blossom tree.

"That's all you've got?" I teased him playfully, he could have done much better.

He was still panting lightly, and when he had got a lot calmer, he muttered in shaky voice, "Shuddup." He whispered something inaudible and buried his head in between his legs.

We continued sitting there, just enjoying each other's presence until the sun finally set and we both separated to go to each respective home. As for me, my boarding house.

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Several days had passed since first I taught him football and he gradually became a better player, despite there wasn't any significant change in his stamina. We'd become closer, even though it was me who mostly did the talk.

One day, he pointed at my goggles that always hang around my neck. I used to wear them on my head before I got into high school but decided it looked inappropriate on a high school student. I told him they were important things to me, my lucky charm, and he laughed.

I even asked him about Jun he seemed to mention very often. She was his big sister who was three years older than him, she was about Hikari's age, then. And according to what Dai had said, she was…well. She was loud and brash, very protective but unbearably careless. She was a big, I meant BIG, fan of Teenage Wolves, the indie band Yamato was currently in. but then, it shouldn't have been really surprising, since Yamato's band had managed to have some fans, too.

I and Hikari were different though. She was sweet and quiet and I couldn't imagine myself being harsh to him. Some people often teased me as an overprotective brother but then, who'd care if I was really one? I had endangered Hikari's life once, when I had taken him playing without knowing that she had developed a high fever. Since then, I promised myself to take a good care of her.

"Nee-chan yells and throws thing at me a lot." Daisuke frowned in deep thought while I winced internally, and then he added, "But she takes care of me a lot, too, even if it's obvious she doesn't want to."

The way he said it was in a tone that I could vaguely recognize as disgust, but actually, he was smiling when he told me those things. I wished he would smile a lot more, he really had a nice smile.

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Yesterday I had took him to an unused football field near an abandoned school just outskirt of town. There was a small stream running beyond it. Joe once had told me a ghost had been seen there. It was much of a rumor of course, but it was pretty much understandable since the unattended building had been left rotting for ten years or so.

I and Daisuke then called it our secret place.

"Senpai," Daisuke had been calling me that ever since the day I first taught him football, not that I really minded. "Do you plan to be a football player? When you are older." he asked as we took a rest under the rooftop of the crumbled building, watching the river water flew by. It was a peaceful time where I could hardly find in such crowded city.

"I'm old already, Dai."

He gave me a look.

I laughed then ruffled his hair affectionately and told him I wanted to become a doctor, half expecting him to burst into laughter any time, just like other people who'd known me better had done it before.

He didn't.

"Cool." was his only reply. "I don't even know what I want to be. Why do you want to be a doctor, anyway? It seems…complicated."

"I want to cure people. People get sick everyday and they need someone to cure them and—" I looked away, in each passing second becoming more embarrassed as my answer became less coherent, " I just think it's a good thing to do."

This time, I really expected him to laugh, or at least snicker at my naivety, but instead, he only nodded dully and we fell into comfortable silence once again.

"Is it far?" he asked and when I gave him a confused look, he only added softly "The university you want to go in? The one that has a medical school in it? There isn't any in this city, is there?"

I gazed at the sky thoughtfully. There was a university with a medical school just at the neighborhood city, but it wasn't the one I aimed for. I aimed for the best university in this country, although it seemed silly and impossible for me whose head was merely full of football and food. But then I'd decided if I was going to go for something, then it would have been be best if I gave it all I might.

I told him the university wasn't that far, but then after giving it a second thought, it wasn't close, either. About eight hours long driving. He fell quiet once again and I didn't say anything more.

The thought of leaving him gave an uneasy clench to my chest and I wonder if he would miss me, if at all.

"You should be able to cure me, then." He blurted out suddenly and when I turned my head to him, he was staring at me intently, brown eyes clear yet distant. I remembered never asking him about his illness, so, deciding it was the best time to do it, I did.

"Cardiomyopathy." He answered, that tone of that unnamed emotion was present.

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I should have seen it earlier, I thought as I rest my forehead on the desk with a soft thump, a medical book I borrowed from my friend Joe open widely on one side. The small noise caught Yamato's attention and he'd poke his head to ask if I was okay. I waved him dismissively without really giving him an answer. I took my head up with an actual effort and continued reading at where I'd just left it.

I should have seen it earlier on Daisuke. His shortness of breath, the way he clutched at his chest as if in severe pain. I thumbed on the page numbly. To sum it up, Cardiomyopathy was a heart disease that could lead to sudden cardiac death.

Daisuke could die at any given moment.

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I met Daisuke some days later. Funny how I was still unable to get rid the thoughts of him dying and gone from my mind when I should have been studying for my upcoming tests. He was sitting on one bench when I came, his feet still dangled inches above the ground.

It had become an unspoken rule between us, we'd meet in the park first, we'd head to our secret football field together, and he would be the one walking ahead. As if, he led and I followed.

"You didn't come again yesterday." His tone was accusing, almost angry, but his face was calm. Still as stone.

I couldn't summon the strength to directly meet his eyes. Daisuke could die right there, right then. Or perhaps a second later, or a minute, or an hour from now. You'd never sure with a person who suffered a severe illness to the heart. These thoughts kept swirling inside my head endlessly, making me dizzy and uneasy. I wondered why the image of him leaving hurt so much. I began to wonder if I'd got attached to the boy way more than I realized.

"You don't bring the ball." He frowned at my empty hands but it still looked adorable on him.

I took a seat on the far end of the bench, "We won't play football today." I said quietly and I could feel his brown eyes peering at me for answers of questions he never let out, before he made a soft noise of acknowledgement and leant back onto the hard wooden back.

He waited for a girl with pigtail to leave the swing, and when she finally did, he stiffly headed there. I was hot on his heels. That was it. He led and I followed.

"Dai," I started, the sun was glaring mercilessly at us but neither of us seemed to mind. "How old are you?" despite how often I thought about it, I'd never actually asked.

He started swinging, and I noted that the caretakers hadn't fixed those swings yet, it still creaked even under Daisuke feather light weight. Wonder when they would actually collapse and if they'd care at all.

He told me he was ten and he asked me the same. The anger, I realized, had subsided a little.

I caught the swing just in time to make it stop completely, this time my fingers curled around his pale ones. I wondered if he, or anybody else, noticed the bold gesture.

"I'm eighteen, almost."

The rest of our day was spent in silence, which I actually felt grateful for it, because it gave me time to think, if it would be really sick to fall for a boy eight years younger than me.

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The next day, instead of bringing him a ball like I usually had done before, I brought him colorful pieces of paper. Lots of colorful paper pieces, in fact. I hushed him before he could open his mouth and question me anything, and just motioned him to go to our usual place.

"There's something I never told you before." I said when we reached our secret football field and guided him to the small stream near it. "If you sail a paper boat on this stream and it reaches the sea, your wish will come true."

He raised his eyebrow skeptically, his tone was an utter disbelief "Really?"

No. Of course it was a made up. My own made up bullshit, actually. I didn't even know why I had stayed up all night just to make it, when I had been supposed to be studying for my college test which would be coming in two days. And even if I hadn't been studying right then, I should have been sleeping, unless I wanted to do my test all sleepy and weary.

I also didn't know since when and why the sight of his smile was the only thing mattered in my current whole life.

"Yeah." I answered curtly and sit on the bank, putting the paper pieces next to me. I hoped I still remembered how to make a paper boat Takenouchi Sora, my long time friend, had taught me years ago.

I tried to hide a smile when he slowly approached me and sat next to me. He took a red paper and began folding a paper boat, brows furrowed in deep thought and I had considered leaving him alone when a voice in the back of my head told me that probably he didn't even know how to make one. So, I took the paper from his grasp and showed him step by step, guiding his tiny fingers to fold it into a more recognizable shape.

His first paper boat was crumpled and folded in unwanted place but it was okay. Then we began folding more and more, until there was a heap of colorful paper boats around us. But we kept folding some more until I thought it had been enough already.

The water was fairly warm from being heated by the summer sun all day and, unlike my prediction, it was deep enough it almost reached my thighs. I felt grateful though, that this stream wasn't one of the black, polluted water rivers in the city or I would be highly unwilling to jump into it just to sail some stupid paper boats. This small stream, however, had water that was clear enough I could see some trash in the bottom. Honestly, people should have known better than to mindlessly throw their junks here.

"It's okay, Dai." I reached out a hand to him, which he reluctantly took. He cried out in surprise as the water hit him hard and he slipped on some rock and would be most likely fall had I not quickly caught his arms. By then he was soaked up to his belly and so did I. I laughed heartedly as I wrapped an arm around him securely and he clung to me tightly, all shaking and shivering.

We both took a handful of paper boats and put them carefully on the water surface, letting the steady water flow sail them into the sea which was about seven hundred meters far from here. There were some passing people watching us with odd looks and I was pretty sure I would do the same if somebody else did the things I did. But I can be care less.

Daisuke's widening smile was worth it all. Hell, his smile was worth everything I owned in this world.

"Go." I heard him whispering softly to the colorful origami crafts that steadily became smaller as they sailed farther, soon becoming tiny specks on the horizon.

Some had been drown right away as they'd touched the water, some others stuck on the stray junks or weeds during their way, but the rest, surely, would go on.

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"Senpai, what did you wish for?" Daisuke asked after we had got back into land and waited for our clothes to dry off. He was soaked up to his chest while I was up to my thighs myself.

I blinked slowly. I hadn't really thought about it when I released the paper boats. "For my entrance test the day after tomorrow, I think. I'm hopeless…"

He seemed amused as I was fuming about how I thought I wouldn't pass my test because I hadn't studied well and cursing the whatever God existed there for giving me so little of a brain, because he snickered a little. And I could feel my face brighten at the pleasant noise so I braved myself to ask, "So, what about you? What did you wish for?"

I hoped that he'd wished a wish I had thought when I'd been making up this whole thing last night.

At this question, he fell quiet and began kicking the water with his bare toes that only sprayed more water onto his already wet clothes. If he didn't change them into the dry ones, he would probably get a really bad cold.

"I didn't really have one." I watched him watching the sky, the red twilight. The wet blue t-shirt he refused to take off clung to his back, unlike me who had thrown mine carelessly onto the ground, hoping I could find it later. "Is it okay?"

Quiet sadness, or more precisely, quiet surrender.

That was what I had been calling it, the unnamed emotion that I only had the fortunity to see it shown by Daisuke in rare occasions. I had begun to understand it just after I had known about his illness. He had a severe heart disease and was inching closer to death just as we spoke casually like this.

A quiet, helpless surrender to death.

"No, you should get one." I insisted, a faintest trace of anger was visible in my cracking voice, and I bit my lower lip so hard to keep me from yelling at him even if it started hurting. What was the point of spending my precious sleeping time just to create this lie if he wasn't playing along? If it couldn't make him get a hope even the slightest? Did it mean it was useless, after all? -

"Then the same with you." He interrupted, the sound of water splashing beyond his feet was faint and weak. He looked at me, his brown eyes with a faint shade of golden were clear as crystal. "My wish is your wish to come true. My wish is your wish also."

I couldn't find any words to fire back at him. Because, really, how could I? There stood a boy, a dying, hopeless boy, who sacrificed his wish to be mine instead of wishing for his own life. A boy I lo-

I motioned him to come closer.

"Close your eyes." I ordered and he obeyed. Kneeling down, I slid off my goggles from my neck and carefully placed it on him. It was still too big for him it hung lopsidedly on his head. He started squirmed a bit, curious at whatever I was doing to him.

I had told him once that the goggles were my most important things.

And before I could even acknowledge it, my face was inclining closer to his. My brain must have stopped working then, because what I did next was something I'd never thought I'd do to him.

I captured his lips with mine. I kissed Daisuke.

Daisuke's eyes snapped one and widened in alarm. "Senpai?" he asked, his voice trembled from both the shock and the cold.

The only thing I remembered about that day was, that I had jerked back, stunned, my mouth had been unable to form any words. Then, grabbing my scattered shirt, I had run, leaving Daisuke in utter shock and confusion, with my goggles on.

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I had never come back to that place, not after seven years later, when I had graduated and become a real doctor.

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Please do tell me of what you think about this story! thank you so much for reading :D


	2. Chapter 2 : Confession

Hellloooo, I'm back! I'm so sorry for the unreasonably long wait. #bows deeply. It took me more than THREE freaking years to update a single chapter...So in retrospect, Iwish my writing will get better. English is not my mother language, btw :p

Without a further delay, here is the continuation of the story, please enjoy. :)

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Chapter 2 : Confession

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"Yeah, yeah, Yama, I'm back here, I am going to do interning in Odaiba Public Hospital for a while. So, wanna meet up?"

As soon as I emerged from the bathroom with the cordless phone in my ears, I found myself eye to eye with a frowning Hikari. My sister had her arms on her hip and blocking my path to the hallway.

"What did I always say to you about not using any electronic devices inside the bathroom? You could get yourself electrocuted, nii-chan!"

I grinned at her sheepishly and scratched the back of my head which wasn't itching at all. It was a nervous habit I picked up at an early age and although it seemed clumsy, I thought it was already too late to get rid of it.

"Hold on." I talked to phone before covering the speaker so that the other person wouldn't hear about our banter, although I was sure that it would be rather amusing than worrying. "But it's just Yama, Hikari."

I almost whined, which was a little inappropriate, since now I'm twenty five years old adult after all.

"It doesn't matter if it's Yama-nii or even if it's me." Hikari scolded and crossed her arms. "Don't do that again, promise?"

"Alright, alright, Hikari. I promise not to do that again, okay?" I threw up my hand that wasn't holding the phone as a sign of surrender. Hikari was turning to be a protective type like my mother and I really could see why it was so befitting that she aspired to be a teacher.

Hikari frowned, almost pouted, as probably she thought that I didn't take her seriously but then walked away with an indignant huff. I felt bad for making her worry about me in the first week of my homecoming and I made a mental note to properly apologize to her.

I heard a snicker from the end line and quickly put the phone to my ears again.

"Don't you dare laughing, Yamato Ishida," I growled and the roll of his eyes could be heard over the phone rather than to be seen. I listened Yamato talking again as I rampaging around my closet to get something I could change into.

"You've got a tight schedule? Alright, I think the get-together could wait, there's a plenty of time. Just, man, don't get yourself so overworked or I'll end up taking care of you." My smile widened as the prospect of seeing my old friends again. It's been a while since I'd seen any of them when I was away at different city to study at medical school. "I know, Yama. Sure, you're super busy, now that you've become a handsome man every teenager girls are ogling at."

I laughed as he stuttered over the phone and he countered with a question if I was committed to a relationship right now.

"Nope," I replied simply, struggling with a brush to tame my wild hair and giving up shortly, "I am not with anyone right now. Been with some around, but you see, short period only."

I never told anyone, not even Yamato, which had been my best-buddy since, like, forever, about a certain person in this city that would not let my heart rest.

We continued our conversation for a while longer before Yamato ended it because he had a scheduled practice for his band. I bid him goodbye and after confirming that I would go to one of his concert next month, clicked the phone shut.

I was lying on my bed and stared absently on the ceiling. The conversation with Yamato had brought up a subject I had yet to confront head-on, and now I couldn't get it over my head.

If I were to tell anyone, I wasn't sure what they'd be saying about an eighteen-years old me kissing a kid eight years my junior.

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Monday would be my first day interning at Odaiba Public Hospital and as a fresh doctor, the more senior doctors assigned me for some trivial task like checking up the patient's condition in certain interval of time. Of course, I couldn't be hoping to be put under some more critical tasks, no matter how much I was itching for it.

One day, just roughly two weeks after I began working there, I was walking down the hall with some senior doctors doing rounds in my department when I spotted someone I could never be mistaken. A teenager boy, with dark brown hair jutting out to every direction, was leaning on the wall beside a closed door. His hands were folded neatly on his chest, his head bowed down to the ground. It reminded me of a defeated pose.

Surely, I could be mistaken him for some other ordinary teenagers but the goggles on his head was a dead giveaway. I know that goggles from heart, the very one used to be in my possession and I gave it away to a certain kid.

Motomiya Daisuke.

As soon as that name echoed in my head, I couldn't get my legs to move. In result I almost tripped with my own feet and bumped to a professor who was for a miraculous reason decided to halt to discuss something with a fellow nurse. I muttered a distracted apology as I fixed my eyes into Daisuke's direction.

Then as if on cue, Daisuke lift his head slowly and turned his head to my direction.

Our gazes met, there was a flash of recognition in his eyes, of which color I remembered as light brown with a hint of golden mixture.

I just stood there, trapped in his eyes for what seemed like an eternity. Unable to lift even a muscle, let alone to speak, my heart was pounding loudly against my ribcage for a reason I didn't even recognize.

But whatever trance we were in was broken when the door beside him slammed open. A skinny girl with a wild pink hair emerged from it, looking pissed. She looped an arm around Daisuke's small shoulders and stirred him away to the exit, her lips moving rapidly in seemingly colorful rude words while he was saying nothing.

He casted a quick glance towards me before turning at the corner and just like that, he was gone.

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"Onii-chan, are you ready yet?" Hikari asked, idly fiddling with her cell phone.

I shouted back that I'd be ready in a minute. This Saturday I got a day off and I had planned to go to a football match at my high school as I promised with Hikari. Usually she wasn't big on sports, only occasionally watching them when there was anything that peaked her interest or for special occasions like the Olympics or World Cup. But Hikari said this time she was accompanying a friend whose brother was playing, so he dragged me along, figuring that I used to be in the football team in high school so just consider this a nostalgic experience.

We went to the football field just outside town that I've never known about since it was build after I went away to other city. It was near a streamside just outskirt of the town. Up to seven years ago, this place was an abandoned field with an equally neglected school building that left to rot away by itself. There were so many rumors about the ghostly school, none of them had been proved true. But now that rotten building was nowhere in sight and the abandoned field was cleaned up and made a football field.

My breath hitched as I realized that this was the secret place I and Daisuke had gone together. The place I lied to him about the paper boats, the place where I kissed him as a kid, and the very place I left him seven years ago.

There wasn't that much of a crowd and I fixed my eyes at the game before hand. It seemed that the game had yet to begin. I smirked when I found Kitagawa-sensei, my PE teacher, as well as the supervisor of the football club when I was the captain in the football club myself. I made a mental note to greet him later.

Hikari casted a quick look around before dragging me to a certain seat. Probably her friend was there.

"Jun!" Hikari exclaimed, waving.

I actually had to stop when I saw her friend. She was the exact pink haired girl who I saw in hospital with Daisuke. Come to think of it, this had to be the sister he had once told me about.

Wait, but then..it meant that his brother who was playing was—

"Jun, meet my brother. Nii-chan, meet Jun. She is a good friend in college." Hikari's voice pulled me back into reality and I forced myself to do a proper introduction to her although right now my mind wandered somewhere else.

"Konnichiwa, Hikari always told me so much about you." She smiled brightly and pointed ambiguously to the field below us, "My brother's gonna play for the match, so I am here to look after him."

"But his heart- I mean—" I almost couldn't restrain from blurting out questions before I caught myself and covered my sudden outburst with a cough. I assumed that if I played a role as a doctor, the question could come out more naturally. It seemed that both girls didn't have a clue if I knew Daisuke and I didn't know why I was afraid if they did.

I started out more calmly. "Wow, you two must be really close?"

Jun's gaze softened as she looked back at the field. The match should start very soon. "Yes. We are, and I could never afford losing him."

For anyone who didn't know that Daisuke had a heart condition, Jun's words might be strange. But I know, and I barely could restrain myself from asking about it. How was he doing? Was he getting better now that he could even play in a match?

It seemed like Jun realized my silence and quickly added, "Eh, sorry that must sound creepy. It's not like he could die from playing football, yes?"

No, if his heart wasn't getting better, he might be.

The referee blowing his whistle as a signal that the game had been started. I searched the players for a familiar figure and there I found him. Wearing a uniform with number 14 on his back, the goggles on his head was an unmistakable mark. He looked a bit smaller than the other players but it made him somewhat more agile. I wouldn't have had any idea if he had a heart condition when I saw him playing very well.

The game went on and at the 13-minutes mark, Daisuke managed to give a goal. I cheered loudly, as well as Jun and Hikari, and the three of us gave a high five to each other.

We continued watching the game, but when I turned to Jun to comment about a kick Daisuke narrowly missed, I saw Jun fist her hands and her skin was as pale as a sheet. I frowned and reflexively trying to locate where Daisuke was. He was still standing by at the center of the field.

"What's wrong?" I asked, concerned.

"It's almost forty minutes." Jun said, as if that could explain anything. When she realized Hikari and my confused stares, she swallowed thickly and continued. "The doctor only gave him permission to play for twenty five minutes, thirty at most! Did Kitagawa-sensei forget?"

I was surprised hearing that and warily turned my attention to Daisuke. The ball was passed to his direction and he began running to catch up. I was almost so proud watching him run so fast. He caught up with the ball and in no time, gave a powerful kick towards the goal.

"Goalll!"

I nearly jumped with excitement and even Jun seemed to forget her worry for a minute.

"That's my brother!" Jun cried gleefully.

I watched the rest of the team surrounding Daisuke and even one of them hauled him on his shoulder. Daisuke looked happy and something inside my chest warmed at the thought.

The referee blew his to continue the game. Daisuke went back to where I assumed was his assigned position. Another pass was given to him, but it almost seemed as if Daisuke didn't even see it. The ball bounced further and another player took it.

I huffed at the missed chance, and turned my eyes back on Daisuke.

Only to find him kneeling on the ground.

My eyes widened and without a second thought, I rushed down to the field. I had only half of a mind when I shouted for Jun to call an ambulance. I hauled myself over the fence just right when Daisuke almost collapsed.

There was a general shock and the other team members began surrounding Daisuke. I gritted my teeth, and forcefully trying to break into the crowds.

"Everybody move, he needs space!" I shouted and when they looked at me funny, I told them, "I am a doctor. Please, allow me-"

Murmuring lowly to each other, the crowd parted and I went into my way to Daisuke. He was on his knees, one hand on his chest, every breath labored. Cold sweat rolling down the side of his face and his skin was almost white. I crouched beside him and trying to get him into concentrating on his breathing.

"Yagami-kun?"

I looked up and saw my PE teacher, Kitagawa-sensei, with Jun and a team of paramedics following him close. I gave him a curt nod, pleasantries could wait for later.

I let the paramedics take over and stayed close until Daisuke was getting into the ambulance.

"I am coming." I said, and it was more of a statement than a request.

I wasn't going to leave him behind again.

..

..

"Jun was furious, it was like she was going to strangle Kitagawa-sensei. You should see it for yourself, it was rather amusing."

It was not until hours later that Daisuke finally woke up from his semi-comatose state. It was in the dead of the night and I was just lucky that I was assigned to do round this night so I had a chance to visit him when my shift was over. Daisuke was on his bed, propped up by several pillows to help him into a sitting position.

Daisuke grimaced at the news, although I was sure that it wasn't the first time he knew that his sister had flipped at anyone. Shaking his head, there was no actual remorse in his voice, "Sorry you had to see that."

"Haha, no problem." I waved my hand casually and continued staring at the window.

There was a long stretch of awkward silence that hung in the room and I wasn't sure of what to say, or if I wanted to say anything at all.

"How are you?" I began first and Daisuke was broken from whatever staring contest he was initiating with the unanimated ceiling.

"Fine, I think. The doctor said that I collapsed from exhaustion and it was nothing of mortal danger, but he gave me a strict instruction not to get myself overworked again. Football is clearly out of question. For now."

"That's great," I commented and smiled at his distaste of being prohibited from playing football, "but that's not what I meant. I mean, how you've been doing, in seven years since… since I last saw you."

I swear that I saw Daisuke flinched at the last sentence and fresh guilt suddenly washed me over.

Daisuke cocked his head and smiled lightly, "Well, lotta things, you know. Which one do you want to know?"

There was a long pause when I contemplated my answer. "For starter," I began carefully, "your condition."

Daisuke sighed and looked up at the ceiling. When he spoke, his voice was monotone, as if reciting from a book he'd read over and over. "Cardiomyopathy is, to make it short, the abnormality of the heart muscle. It deteriorates over times and there would be one day that it wouldn't be able to sufficiently pump blood again. It's a common heart disease, however, countless many die of it. The only effective treatment is heart-transplant." he stared hard at the back of his hand, which had many bluish mark due to multi times of the insertion of needle and I almost winced at the sight.

"As for myself," he continued, "at the last examination several weeks ago, about 15% of the cells in my heart have ceased functioning. There's an operation for temporary relief to remove the damaged part, but as I said it, its effect only temporary since my heart for unknown reason will still deteriorate. It'll only prolong my life six months to a year, two if I'm extremely lucky, before I'll have to undergo another operation. So, I don't consider that really much of an option."

I tried to keep my expression as neutral as possible. This surely was a very heavy burden for him and his family, and I could see why Jun got so protective around him. But it seemed that Daisuke took all that with a terrifying calmness a seventeen-years-old shouldn't have.

"When will the operation due?" I asked, and to my surprise he cocked his head to side and smiled. His next words were a punch straight to the gut.

"Six months from now. But I don't think that I'll live through it."

"Pardon me?"I hated how my voice had taken an unnaturally high pitched. I swallowed thickly, "Why?"

"I don't really understand it either, but to put it simply, even my heart is already at its limit. Before this, I've undergone two surgery," and as if to prove his words, Daisuke unbuttoned his hospital pajamas to show two surgery scar on the left side of his chest, "it's pure luck I survived the second surgery, but three is pushing it."

He buttoned back his clothing, "The only effective cure to it is a heart transplant, but.. I've been waiting for far too long."

The room was so quiet I could hear the clock ticking on the wall. I looked at Daisuke, his eyes casted downwards and he was wringing his hands together. Then I remember his eyes, I'd seen his expression for far too many in the past.

The feeling of helplessness. A quiet surrender to death.

"You know Hikari." I said and his head jerked slowly at the sudden change of topic.

"Yes, she's one of Jun's few friends at school. Remember how I told you Jun is a big fan of Ishida Yamato of Teenager Wolves? Apparently Hikari-san's close friend, Takeru-san, is Yamato's little brother. So you could guess the rest."

"You know I am Hikari's brother?" I asked again and he only gave a short nod. "You didn't seek for me?"

"Well, should I? True that I heard a lot about you from Hikari-san, but it would be weird if suddenly I inquiry a question about you." Then he stared at me before forcefully willing himself to look away. "Besides, I didn't know if you really wanted to see me."

His words stung.

I clenched my fist so hard it began to hurt.

Oblivious to the inner turmoil inside my head, Daisuke continued. "About seven years ago, I gave it a lot of thought. I actually went and do some research. I came into a conclusion that perhaps, you didn't mean that. Well, either you didn't mean what you did or it is that you enjoyed doing harassment to young child. So I didn't see any reason why you would be so hung up with me—"

"I won't do that!" I cut suddenly and he seemed a bit surprised. Somehow, it hurt that he thought of me that way, that I had only toyed with him, assaulting him sexually. I didn't even why I was getting so disappointed, so angry at his words.

If only he knew how he meant a lot to me.

"I won't do such a thing." I repeated more calmly, unclenching my fist altogether.

Daisuke was silent for a while, before he began again. "Then why, why did you do that?"

"I don't know."

It was the truth. I didn't even know why I kissed him in the first time. I wanted to say that it was just an impulse, a thoughtless action I made up on the spot. But the thought of him thinking that I had enjoyed toying with him made me sick to the stomach.

It was like Daisuke was expecting me to elaborate. But when it didn't come, he leaned back on the bed and sighed. Turning his head softly to me, his eyes were the colors of jaded brown and golden and just a slash of hurt, he said, "Even so, Taichi-san. I think I like you. You may think that its some kind of joke but even now, after seven years, my feeling for you hasn't changed. I do like you."

..

..

please do tell me of what you think. Thank you so much for reading :D


	3. Chapter 3 : The Burden of A Promise

Hello, I am back with chapter 3. A shorter chapter but faster update compared to the previous time, hehe. Although I am quite sad that this fic is not getting attention as much as I hope, but I am trying to give the best for those who have reviewed/faved/alerted. Thank you so much :)

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Chapter 3 : The Burden of A Promise

.x.

.x.

It was past dinner the next day when I excused myself to take a walk. "I need to get fresh air." I tried to explain to my parents as I put on my coat.

Hikari looked at me questioningly, as it was a ridiculus idea to get out now because the day had turned dark, but I quickly dismissed her off. I just needed to clear my mind a little bit.

My little wandering brought me to the park near my home. The park was empty and dimly lit, somehow a little perfect for me to clear my head off. Sitting on one of the rusty swing, I slowly realized that it was the park I had met Daisuke for the first time.

"_You may think that It's some kind of joke but even now, after seven years, my feeling for you hasn't changed. I do like you."_

No matter how much effort I put to shake off the memory of that night, Daisuke's voice still echoed inside my head. Somehow it was startling how he faced his feeling thoroughly head on, without any trace of doubt or fear.

And in retrospect, it was also startling how cowardly I had acted towards all of this.

"Taichi!"

Having been lost in thoughts, I nearly tumbled forward as someone suddenly shoved my back. I whipped my head to see a woman with short orange hair grinning widely at me.

"Sora!" I exclaimed and spread my arms to invite her in an embrace, which she took it gleefully.

Like Yamato, Takenouchi Sora was one of my first childhood friends in this town. When she was younger, she used to be quite a tomboy, even playing for a female football team at the school. Sometimes she argued with her mother, who was the teacher of flower-arranging class, who had always demanded her to be a little more of the feminine side. But now she had grown into a fine woman, and a quite beautiful one at that. She had been dating my best friends Yama for years now.

"How are you doing? I heard from Yama that you came back here, but are you really that busy to drop us a visit?" Sora teased as I released her.

"Uh," I laughed nervously, scratching the back of my head. I really have to stop doing that. "It's not like that, it's just there are…things that keep me occupied. Besides, Yama said he's busy preparing his next tour, so.."

"I see." She simply commented as she sat on the swing beside me. "You look troubled, Tai."

I turned my head to raise an eyebrow at her, which she replied by rolling her eyes. "Do you really need to ask how I guessed that? Come on, Tai, I've known you better than you give me credits for."

My chest warmed at her words. It was nice that even after my leave seven years ago, I still had friends who knew me so well.

"Right, I guess that's what you call growing up together." I commented and Sora nodded at that.

"So, everything's alright?"

I hesitated for a moment before replying, "..Yeah."

"Mmhm, right." She said disbelievingly. Unsurprisingly, she saw through my lie. I always wondered why women are really good at that. I could never lie straight to Hikari and my mother too. I guess it was a special trait given to women, the ability to read a man like an open book."Care to share, Tai? I promise I won't tell, I am like, the best secret keeper in the world!"

That actually made me laugh. So she still remembered that phrase. When we had been younger, I had always said that to cheer her up when she was upset, especially when she argued with her mother again. I was one of her most trusted fellows and she was one of mine.

"It's nothing, really." I shrugged and gripped the chains of the swing hard. A familiar ache began to seize my chest whenever I thought of Daisuke. "It's just that there is a certain person I care about so much, but it seems the more we see each other, it'll create bigger gap of misunderstanding and so..I just..I don't have any idea how to act."

"Mmhm…" Sora hummed softly and turned her head forward. With a gentle kick, she began to swing. "Ah, I remember. You've always been like that, Tai."

"Like what?"

"You always put the others' feelings first, sometimes too much that you even forget about your own too. I always think that Taichi is too kind." Sora said as she continued swinging. "Sometimes, when we care deeply about someone, we held ourselves back because we are afraid of hurting them. Although I am not saying that it's a bad thing, Taichi, but sometimes, it's our own acts of kindness that hurt the most."

"I am…afraid of hurting them?" I asked dumbly repeating her words.

Sora looked at me with a knowing smile, "Are you not?"

Daisuke, despite of his cheerful persona and stubborn demeanor, in my eyes he was just a fragile and delicate person. I had learned this through firsthand experience. I was not to mess with his feelings or his health. Perhaps I was afraid to love him back because separation will be inevitable for us. He was someone who could slip away from my grasp at anytime without notice, leaving me behind with emptiness I could never fill.

"I don't know." I said finally, "Maybe it's me who's afraid of getting hurt."

"Taichi…you've never been in a serious relationship before, right?" Sora suddenly asked and I felt embarrassment crept up to my face.

"W-what does that have to do with anything?" I stumbled upon my own words and looked away, embarrassed.

Sora was right, I had never liked anyone seriously before. Crushes here and there, but it never stayed long enough to turn into a real relationship. So perhaps this was why Daisuke stood out as a peculiar experience to me.

"Aw, I was right. Really, Taichi, you're a doctor, you have quite a look, you treat women finely, and it beats me why you're still single up until now." Sora sighed in exasperation although I did trace amusement in her voice. "There's an old saying, it goes like this, 'You're not ready to love until you're ready to get hurt'. Just look at me and Yama, I won't deny that there were times when things were difficult and we barely pulled it together, but surely, there were also times when better stuffs happened that we're glad to have each other."

So, Taichi, if you're really _that_ afraid of getting hurt, that is fine to be that way. And even if you're afraid of getting her hurt, that is fine too, but, has it ever occured to you that perhaps she's been waiting for you, too?"

"That is.." I casted my eyes downward and thought about the seven excruciating years where I couldn't get Daisuke out of my head while he had been always waiting for me. I had him waiting fot me for far too long.

I got up and reached out my hand to Sora to help her get up. "Thanks Sora. You're a great help."

"Sure, anytime Taichi." Sora smiled and took my hand. I offered to accompany her go home since it was late, which she gladly took.

"Oh, anyway," Sora suddenly said as she opened the door to her house, "make sure to introduce her to us, and the others too. I am curious as to who this lucky girl might be."

I grinned back."Sure, I'd like to introduce _him_ to you all."

Stiffling a laugh at Sora's aghast expression, I bid farewell to her and take my leave.

With certain resolve in my head, I believed that it was time to make things right.

..

..

On the next day, Daisuke was surprised at seeing me waiting for him after his football practice.

"Yo." I called him and waved my hand. He must've not noticed my nervousness because he easily called me back.

"Taichi-senpai!" He jogged after me with a boy with navy hair following close behind. "What are you doing here?"

"Mmm, is waiting for you a good reason enough?"

"Ha, you bet." Daisuke dismissed my teasing and laughed before he suddenly turned around, dragging the boy who was with him towards me. "So, meet Ken-kun here, senpai. He's like, my best friend since middle school."

"Pleased to meet you. I am Taichi Yagami." I offered a hand which Ken eagerly took.

"Oh, no, the pleasure is mine, Taichi-san. My name is Ichijouji Ken. I am truly grateful for your help back then." Ken replied politely, indicating the incident when Daisuke had collapsed during the previous match. He turned to Daisuke, "So, I'll see you later, Dai?"

Daisuke looked a bit unsure and he directed his gaze towards me. When I nodded as an affirmation, he replied to Ken, "Yeah, I'm sorry Ken. I'll catch you later."

Ken smiled good-naturedly and waved his hands at us as he took his leave.

"He's a good kid." I commented as I watch Ken's back disappear into the crowd.

"'Good'? Nah, he's incredible. He's the top student at school, has good look, and good at sports too. He's the best person you can ask for a friend!" Daisuke exclaimed. Hearing that, I remembered that when I first met Daisuke, he'd been home-schooled so he hadn't had many friends.

"Hmm, right. I am glad for you, then." I said ruffling his hair briefly before starting to walk. Daisuke quickly took his place beside me, following me without any question.

We walked around the town aimlessly. Sometimes we chatted lazily with each other, but most of the time was filled with silence. It seemed that both of us were content with each other's presence.

The day had gotten dark before I realized it and we took a rest in the fountain in the town park. I treated Daisuke into an ice cream. He got vanilla while I had myself chocolate. We just sat there enjoying the treat and watching the busy crowd.

"This is like a date, you know." Daisuke said suddenly and I, almost choked by my own spit, snapped my head at him.

"Like hell it is." I grumbled as I threw the cone of the ice cream at the nearby trash bin. Somehow I got this weird habit of not eating the cone of an ice cream while my other friends would happily do it.

Daisuke laughed, and somehow I sensed a bitter annoyance in it, even if it was faint.

"God, you're cruel, Taichi." I noted how he suddenly dropped the "-senpai" on my name, or how his mood had suddenly changed, or how his throwing of the remaining cone had missed by a few inches. "It feels like, you brought my hopes high to heaven when you decided to see me, and then you'll drop me down back to earth without mercy. Give this dying kid a break, will ya?"

Guilt suddenly washed over me. I didn't mean that, really. But when Daisuke suddenly stood up, and seeing only his back towards me, it felt like my hands froze in mid-air when I attempted to reach him.

_Did I hurt him again?_

My heart was sent into panicking as Daisuke began walking away and I was nearly tripped myself down when I scrambled to reach him. His hand felt cold and clammy in my hand and the fear of hurting him seized my chest again, making it hard to breathe.

"Where are you going?" I breathed out, wishing my voice hadn't trembled as much as it did.

"It's late. I am heading back home." Daisuke said quietly, before slowly adding, "But there is a place I want to go first."

..

..

It turned out that the place Daisuke had wanted to go was the streamside beside the football field, our secret place seven years ago. I tried to be quiet even though the hammering in my chest wouldn't quit. Through the trip, I didn't let go of Daisuke's hand even for a second.

I was afraid that he could suddenly disappear again and this time, I won't be able to reach him.

We carefully threaded our way between the rocks and the weeds, and finally we found a place level enough to sit down. We sat there in silence, watching the sunset and listening the sound of rushing water below.

"Do you remember this place, Taichi?"

"How could I forget?" I replied as I tried to look at Daisuke's face. He was staring at his feet so intently that I couldn't even read what was in his mind at all. "Dai, look, I am—"

Daisuke held a hand to me as to stop my words before reaching for his messenger back and tore a paper from his notebook. With a trained hand, he carefully folded the paper into a paperboat. I watched him doing it with pressing silence and unease feeling I couldn't shake off.

Daisuke began untying his shoelaces and a second later he was immersed on the shallow water barefooted. The water was shallow enough it barely reached his knees. Daisuke actually had to speak his words loud enough so I could hear him from this distance. "Do you still remember what your wish was, Taichi?"

"I remember. My wish was to pass the entrance exam." I replied and braved myself to say the next. "And your wish….was for my wish to come true."

"Ah, right." He commented lightly. "Several days after you suddenly disappeared, I went back here again, with hundreds of paperboats. It seemed that Ihad it mixed up with the papercranes thing, it was quite silly now that I think about it-" Daisuke gave a bitter laugh, "and my wish…was for you to return back. I wanted to see you again."

I watched Daisuke's back against the sunset, noticing how small and fragile he truly was, as he knelt and placed down the paperboat in his hand onto the water surface.

"Now, what would you wish for, Taichi?"

For me, there was only one answer to that question but somehow I felt that it was not to be spoken. Also, it seemed like Daisuke disn't need me to speak it aloud for him so I held dear to the wish I have engraved to my heart.

He went back and sat beside me, hugging his knees together. We watched the sun went down at the distance, the sky was a mixture of red and golden.

"Lately, I have been thinking…about, how would it be if I had met you earlier. If I had been born the same age with you, and just had had a normal heart." Daisuke suddenly said. When I turned his head to look at him, he wasn't looking at me.

"It must be nice, growing up with you. Always be with you." He continued in a quieter voice as if they were thoughts not meant to be known to the rest of the world.

I reached out a hand to pull him closer to me, and to my relief, Daisuke didn't try to resist. I leaned forward and placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth, but I didn't advance further because I knew that this moment was too precious and fragile to be broken.

"Stay with me. I won't leave you again." I said, as I rested my head on the junction between his neck and shoulder. Daisuke's heartbeat was loud and irregular, despite his even breathing. His ill heart, I thought, was the time-bomb that would surely tear us apart at some point of time.

My heart ached so much like it never had before. It was the first time that the probability of losing someone so important sat so heavy in my chest. Perhaps Sora was right, I was afraid to face my own feelings because I was afraid both getting hurt and hurting Daisuke. But I don't want to lose him, and for now, perhaps it was the only true truth that mattered.

"So, please don't leave. Don't disappear from my life. Please, I am begging you, Dai."

..

Looking back on that day, through it all, Daisuke hadn't uttered a single word. Perhaps I understand a little about him not saying anything rather than trying to lie or give out empty promises. Perhaps it was because both of us know the weight of words, thus the burden of a promise.

.x.

.x.

Oh, and before I forget, the papercrane I was reffering to is the Japanese cultural legend that when you have a wish, you create a thousand (1000) papercranes and hung it on the ceiling (or so I believe). Please do look for other reference, because I don't know much about it either.

Thank you for reading, please do tell what you think about this fic. English is not my native language so I would be grateful if you'd point out where I did wrong so I could learn from it.

Thank you again :)


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